How to Transcend Your Ego

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Posted on June 27, 2016
Your ego develops to keep you safe from threats and dangers that you may experience in life. It aims to protect you by closing you down and creating a hard shell (known as a defence, or a coping mechanism). It then judges and keeps you separate from others, so that in theory you won’t get hurt. This approach does not work in the long term as it is fear based, separating you from your true self—your true loving nature.

This above all: to thine own self be true. ~ William Shakespeare

Your ego can make you project your problems onto others and make you see them in a negative light. Seeing the world this way can put a heavy emotional burden on you and make you act in ways that are not true to who you are. 
It is when you are open and accepting that you develop the ability to connect with the loving source of energy which is present in everyone. 
Your ego thinks it is in control and running the show—yet it is the source of all your pain and suffering. It stops you from listening to your intuition, wisdom, or God. It convinces you that you need to compete with others, that you are better, worse, richer, poorer, fatter or skinnier. It is the part of you that convinces you, that you’re not good enough, not smart enough, and you need to struggle to be worthy of having a good life. The ego keeps you attached to striving, wanting more, feeling unacceptable as you are, and trapped by its power!

Love Yourself

To find peace, transcend your ego by understanding it with love and accepting as it is. Shining love on your ego, helps you to transcend the pain it can create. Being aware of how the ego interrupts your actions and thoughts can be a crucial step in being more present and mindful in the present moment, and ensuring your inner world doesn't negatively affect your outer world.

Step-by-Step guide: 

  1. Be aware that ongoing pain and reactivity, is a result of defences created by your ego. 
  2. View your defences, for example, any; sadness, anger, hurt, grief or guilt with compassion and love. They are all part of our human experience and feelings that come and go.
  3. When you accept your feelings as they are, they will flow through your energetic system. This process gives you information about yourself, so you can respond with wisdom,  rather than react from your ego in various situations. 
  4. Focus on creating a beautiful vision for yourself one that is wise, kind, compassionate, loving, creative and intuitive. Ways you can do this are by creating a written list or a visual grid of the eight C’s listed below. In each grid put a picture or symbol, representing what these areas mean to you:
    • Compassion: how are you are compassionate towards others, without expectation, in an unconditionally loving way?
    • Creativity: what inspires you? Is it art, music, or a particular project that you admire?
    • Community: what gives you a sense of community?
    • Clan: your loved ones, your family, friends and colleagues?
    • Communion: do you commune with your spirit, connecting with your natural source of love? It could be by meditating, prayer or taking time to relax and be still.
    • Connection: what is it about you, that connects you to others and is your finest quality? Your loving heart, your kind deeds, your non-judgemental nature, or any other quality that represents you at your best?
    • Caring: what is it about you that displays your caring for humanity? It could be comforting small children in distress (including your inner child) or helping others in need.
    • Call to nature: it is a powerful force when it comes to transcending the ego and reconnecting you to your natural loving state. Walking on the beach, in the forest, sitting by the ocean or a lake, for example, will help you to return to your calm and peaceful centre.


Aim to be kind rather than right in your interactions with others. Although this may sound very simple, it is often the hardest thing for humans to do, as the ego much prefers to be right rather than kind! However, see this as training for your ego, allowing you to tap into your kindness, letting that be an automatic way of being over time.

Ego is to the true self what a flashlight is to a spotlight. ~ John Bradshaw

Transcending your ego is not just about being selfless and kind to others, it is also about being receptive to the lives of others; learning, changing and understanding because of them. Over time, you become an amalgamation of those who you surround yourself with and the more open you are, the more you can build upon your sense of self.
In the end, it is not necessarily your achievements or your wealth that you are remembered by, but how you live on in the minds of others. Be open and leave an impression worth remembering.

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