Depressed, saddened, angered and confused. These are some of the reasons why people come to see me. But the truth is, you don’t always need to see a coach or counsellor. Sometimes you can make adjustments to lighten your load. You can do things starting today, that will free up your mind, thus allowing you to feel lighter, brighter and happier. Let’s jump into this.
There are certain things that I have noticed over the course of 3 decades being in practice, that literally hold people back from experiencing happiness. These actions, beliefs and thought patterns keep us from just enduring life, to actually enjoying it. We move from fear to freedom. And while not everyone who does these things will have a major life change. Most will see improvements. And if you ask someone who has been in heavy pain for years, a little relief goes a long way. So why not make the adjustments? The worst thing that will happen to you is you get zero results. On the other hand, you just may lighten the load.
6 ways to feel lighter and happier are:
1. Don’t entertain the pain. Whenever possible, stop thinking about the pain. Even better. Stop talking about it. The more you affirm it, the stronger it becomes. Yes, sometimes life is unfair. You got sick, your significant other left you, or maybe you lost your job. Life isn’t always fair. But just because it is not, doesn’t mean you should relive it on a day to day basis. Working with countless clients (for example) who have had a bad break up, and they’re still talking about 5 years later. No wonder they are unfulfilled. It’s time to let go of the old, to make room for the new.
2. Live within your means. Many of us had to learn this the hard way. (Yeah, I am holding my hand up too.) Life can be challenging enough as it is, let alone being anchored to a mountain of debt. You know the Joneses that you are trying to keep up with? Stop that! This is unhealthy and in many cases, they too are trying to keep up with someone else. And this leads me to…
3. Social media ain’t always social. Sure it’s fun and can be informative. But it can also be misleading and downright cruel. Just how many people are bullied, or take their own life because they are comparing themselves to others? I’m sure we all know that one person who lives a completely different life, then what they present on FaceBook. Run your own race, and be unapologetic about it.
4. Check out assumptions. More relationships have ended because we thought we knew something that we really didn’t. If you are having concerns, learn to ask. It’s not fair to you, your partner or the relationship if you are acting out of fear, and especially if you don’t have the facts.
Comfort zones quietly kill your dreams
5. Speaking of fear. You do know that it’s a liar? Most of the things (not all) we fear are based on something that has never happened, or a belief system we developed in our head, or during younger years. There is an old proverb that says “he who angers you, controls you”. I like to apply that to fear. A great example would be social anxiety. And while that should be treated by a professional, the example here is how those who suffer, rearrange their life to avoid groups of people. How many things do we miss out on because of fear? Run to your fear. Comfort zones quietly kill your dreams.
6. Your body is truly your temple. Make time to worship. You need not live, eat and breathe health. But you do need to be mindful. Overconsumption is a huge problem that leads to huge problems. We all have our vices be it alcohol, smoking, chocolate to sex. Whatever your vice is, keep it in check. Because once your health is gone, you’ll be working from a deficit. And while deficits can be overcome, that’s a completely different mind-set. And since we’re talking about lightening the load. Don’t be willing to put yourself in a hole to climb out of.
The reality is that there are many things that we can do to lighten the load. I could literally write an entire book on this very subject. I mention the above 6 because they seem to be a reoccurring theme with my clients. Whatever you decide to do, just do it. There’s a reason why my practice increases by almost a factor of 10 in January. (Because people desire change.) But come June? Tumbleweeds.
Love yourself enough to see it through. Lighten the load. Because we’re not meant to be carrying mountains.
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